Here we go!!!

Hullo my loves! 💋

If I hadn’t forgotten to make a New Years resolution this would be it: do what you love. And what do I love? Well asides from makeup and history, I love to write and talk, so making a blog seems pretty logcial doesn’t it? Still, I’m slightly scared to have people reading and judging my thoughts but maybe that’s beginners nerves! I’m not entirely sure what I’ll write but expect to see makeup and maybe a cheeky bit of poetry! Thank you always to my family and friends for the support, I love you always!

Signing out for now,

Kirsty ox

Reflections on my year abroad 🇪🇸💛❤️

Hullo lovelies!!!!

I hope you’ve had a lovely week and that you have a great next week too! So today I want to write about my reflections (what I’ve learnt etc) on my year abroad, so I warn you it might be a long ‘un, i apologise in advance.

One of the best things that has happened to me is meeting a best friend here. She’s probably the most beautiful and inspirational person I’ve ever met and I’ve learnt a lot from her, as well as the other people I’ve met here too. It has really emphasised to me that the people you surround yourself with is so important ~ if they inspire you to be a better you and love you for you that makes life so much better. I know now the kind of person I want to be and should strive to be and I love having a goal to reach.

Firstly, I’ve learnt that you are enough as you are. My entire life (as you’ll know if you read my blog regularly) I’ve struggled with awful self esteem issues that have impacted everything I’ve done, and the person I am today. Being in Madrid has taught me a lot about self esteem and self love. If you set out to love yourself it becomes an aim you want and you begin to see yourself more positively. Of course, this is a really tough journey if you’ve never liked yourself. So it’s important to remember it’s okay to have bad days about your self esteem. Mine is getting better and yet I still ended up in tears talking to a friend about it ~ because sometimes I still have to really search for the good. But Madrid showed me that positivity about your appearance is achievable and that it’s worth the fight.

Furthermore, my whole life I’ve placed so much emphasis on what other people think of me. This has been the main driving force of my self esteem and when things didn’t go my way it tended to ruin me. However, the people here have shown me that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of you, all that matters is what you think of yourself. At the end of the day no matter how you look there will be people there to criticise and people there to support you and you decide who you listen to, or listen to none of them 🤷🏽‍♀️. Importantly, if someone doesn’t find you attractive it really isn’t the end of the world as you have to remember that you don’t find everyone attractive but that doesn’t mean they aren’t attractive at all, just that you don’t find them attractive (e.g. I don’t think Chris Pratt is attractive but that doesn’t mean he’s not, he’s just not my type). So this has been a big step for me, recognising these things and trying to overcome them.

I’ve also learnt that I love to exercise. Okay this might not seem a big thing but for me it’s huge!!! I used to hate exercise of any form that wasn’t dance or swimming ~ but now I can’t seem to get enough! Yesterday I did a hike for fun, plus I started running in April and I’ve run about 3 times a week (sometimes everyday if I have the time). It really helps me to think and relax, plus I think it helps with my headaches, migraines and anxiety (gotta love that cocktail of joy ahahah). If I haven’t run in a while I really notice it and I have to go (a while being three days, I start getting withdrawal symptoms). I still enjoy doing my squats to Beyoncé and clubbing music, very inspiring and empowering I have to say (although not so much since my PJ bottoms keep falling off every squat because of the weight I’ve lost). Speaking of weight loss, that has majorily helped me in some ways – I love it when I feel more confident because of the weight I’ve lost, but I also hate it when I can’t see that I’ve lost weight and I go and try some clothes on and they still look horrendous. As I was saying though, it’s okay to have bad days when it comes to your self esteem because without them you couldn’t have the good.

This brings me onto something else ~ I’ve realised that it’s okay to have problems as long as you can admit to them and work on them. It’s half of the battle to admit that there’s a problem! My weight has always made me so unhappy but in the past it made me so unhappy I wouldn’t even recognise it as a problem or talk about it, I’d just block it to try and take away the pain. This is not a good strategy I assure you ahaha, much better to admit that you have a self esteem problem because of your weight and then work on loosing weight. This is the beginning of turning my weight around and I know I can keep up with it when I’m at home, after all I won’t be in a capital city with all the temptation of food restaurants there!!! Plus, I’ve learnt that you really can loose weight just by changing your diet and adding a bit of exercise ~ although you definitely have to get to the stage where you want to. I’m really proud that I’ve lost a stone and a half in Madrid, long may it continue! This is has also highlighted to me my problems with food, but I’m not afraid to address them and talk about them now. I can definitely say I’ve seen the spectrum with food problems; before uni with binge eating disorder (although I didn’t know it (I wish I had)) to making myself throw up after eating anythung sweet. If you ever want to talk about food problems I’ll always listen; I’ve really learnt that it isn’t a weakness to share your problems rather than hiding them away, in fact it’s a strenght.

This isn’t really something I’ve learnt but I’ve definitely gotten better with buying clothes etc ~ today I’m wearing cuellotes (first trousers in years that I’ve owned) and the other day I tried a bodycon mid length dress on and it didn’t look horrendous (couldn’t bring myself to buy it yet though)! This has really been possible because of the support of my friends here, it’s so true that friends impact the way you see everything and I have such supportive ones, it’s truly amazing.

Also, I’ve realised that it really doesn’t matter whether or not you’re cool, how other people perceive you or how many likes you get on Instagram. At the end of the day you can only be you and for me I want to strive to help as many people as possible, be happy and work on myself. Of course I’d like a good job but happiness comes first (shout out to Mill).

I think in general year abroads really help you to mature and grow as a person ~ of course you have to be willing to put yourself out there and try new things or you won’t get as much out of it! My year in Madrid has honestly been amazing ~ I didn’t do things like go raving all the time, but I did get excellent marks, a bit of Spanish (that’s the one thing I’m sad about), some amazing friends and I’ve grown so much as a person, the amount has even surprised me. Overall it’s been fab (this post might get added to later when I’m not sat in the airport about to fly home)!

I hope you all have a wonderful week! Love,

Kirsty ox

The journey continues ✨

Hullo lovelies!!!

I hope you’re all well and have had a wonderful week! I’m in my last in Madrid so I will definitely be posting my (potentially very soppy) reflections about my year here soon! But until then, everyday it becomes more important to me to help and, hopefully one day, inspire people around me to start their journey to self love. I’m still on mine and I have a long way to go but I know that I can get there! So I really wanted to share some old poetry I wrote with you, my new stuff isn’t ready to be shared yet! So I hope that you all have a wonderful week and enjoy this one!

Some things break you

And other things make you

You have to decide which path to take.

So, It’s okay to be sad

And it’s okay to be not okay.

You don’t have to meet their standards

You can set your own.

And opinions are just that,

One persons view.

Never let them define you,

Because you can be who you want to be.

Believe,

And you will achieve.

Love, Kirsty ox

Why I’m fed up with social media 🙅🏽

Hullo lovelies!!!

It’s been an interesting week or so for me ~ lots of work due and eating my first chocolate since about February. Plus it’s been pretty emotionally hard. My mum says I’m either very high or very low and it’s so true of me, most of the time (90%) I’m very high but you can’t be such a positive and energetic person without lows and when I crash down I CRASH. It’s been pretty difficult because I was really struggling with how I look at the moment, when I look at myself I just see a disgusting fat blob, not even a human. Yet when I look at food I either see it as the enemy and I can’t eat or I’m really hungry so I eat so much (I’ve been really hungry recently because of my hormones, if you know what I mean so I haven’t been loosing that much weight). I really wanted to be at a certain weight for my birthday and I honestly believed I would be, but now it doesn’t look like it will happy. My best friend told me ‘write down what you want to be and it’ll come to’, this is something I whole heartedly believe, so of course the first thing on the list is to be fairly slim and curvey (believe me you’ll KNOW when this happens and the other things on the list 😜 (Cillian Murphy watch out 😉)).

This does not mean, however, that I think having extra weight on you is a bad thing as such, I actually have seen so many beautiful big girls in my search for happiness. But I can’t be happy having this much weight on me, and if you’re not happy you change it. But just because I’m not happy doesn’t mean that because you have extra weight on you, you shouldn’t be happy ~ nah give em hell because every size and shape is beautiful because human beings are beautiful. A point that many people recently seem to have been forgetting.

I was disgusted today on twitter by two tweets ~ the first was about Meghan (it was the royal wedding day), and it said that because she has African descent, is older than Harry and is a divorcee she shouldn’t be able to marry into the royal family. Firstly, the royal family in England basically created divorce starting with Henry 8th. Secondly, HUMAN BEINGS ARE BEAUTIFUL. Meghan is stunning ~ so what about her race or her age? It doesn’t matter because Harry is in love with her and that is the important thing.

The second tweet was a bigger girl who’d put a photo of her in underwear on twitter and captioned it ‘fat is the new skinny’, which had then been quote tweeted with the usual obesity is disgusting and unhealthy. Okay two points about this from me; firstly, she shouldn’t have captioned it that because that is promoting the idea that one shape is better than another, which is clearly negative. Secondly, I am sick to death of people feeling as though they have a right to comment on other people’s bodies? They have absolutely no right to put a young girl down because of her size. The amount of people now who think it is okay to comment on everybody else and how they look is disgusting. Nobody has a right to put somebody else down because of their appearance. And furthermore, if you have never struggled with your weight to put somebody else down who has us actually insane because you have no idea what it is like. So many thin girls who eat exactly what they want and don’t put weight on seem to think it’s okay to tell bigger girls that they need to loose weight ~ knowing nothing about their position, what they eat, how much exercise they do etc. It’s not okay. You don’t know what you’re doing to that person for no reason? All they have to do is keep their harmful opinion to themselves. I was reading the other day about a plus size girl who had anorexia – yes you read that right, she had anorexia because she starved herself for days at a time. But nobody said anything. Nobody did anything because she was loosing weight. She went through the battle for years on her own because nobody ever thought that she could have a problem with food. Plus sized girls can have major issues with food too, it’s just society seems to ban that because how can someone who is fat have issues with food? But if you’re a plus sized girl and you’ve not eaten for a few days you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. All the seeing food as an enemy but no one to turn to because by societies standard what you’re doing to yourself is good for you. The article I read, the doctors were actually congratulating her for loosing weight, which just propelled her to starve herself even more. If this had been a thinner girl we would be horrified, but as it’s not we just look past it and carry on.

This leads me to ask, why can’t we all just accept that humans are beautiful? Why does there have to be a perfect size? Why do people think it’s okay to put others down? There is no such thing as perfect, so therefore nobody has a right to put anybody else down because nobody is perfect themselves. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to go on social media and not see people putting others down, but I really hope one day I can.

Love, Kirsty ox

First impression ~ Too Faced, Lipstick queen and Kat Von D 🔥

Hullo lovelies!!!

I hope you’re all well and have had a wonderful week! The other day I received a VERY exciting email ~ 20% off at Sephora! I mean when does this ever happen??? So I thought I would take advantage of this as I needed a new primer (side note, why is primer so expensive???)! While I was in there (and to make up the amount needed for the 20% off) I picked up a new Kat Von D tattoo liner and a Lipstick Queen liquid lipstick and now I’m going to give you my first impression of them!

Too faced ~ Hangover Primer, €31,90, 40ml

I decided to go for the Too faced hangover primer as I love their makeup and, although expensive, you get 40ml (compared to benefit poreffessional €37,90 for 22ml). My first impression of this is that I love it!!!! In the past I’ve always hoped that primer would allow for longer staying power and yet (after trying all the top primers) I’ve still found that my makeup is crumbling by the end of the day. So imagine my amazement when after 12 hours my makeup was still flawless. It actually looked that good that I didn’t bother to change my makeup before going out (the first time ever). However, this is purely my own opinion and when I was looking up reviews, a common problem was the longevity of their makeup, but I honestly have never used a better primer. The only down sides I can find is that I don’t like the smell at all (in fact I nearly didn’t buy it because of this). Plus my skin has been breaking out but I don’t know if that is directly correlated to the primer. So overall I am in love with this primer, I’m so happy that I’ve finally found a primer that works!

Kat Von D ~ Tattoo liner in Trooper, €20, 0.55ml

This was not my first time buying this eyeliner, in fact it’s such a favourite of mine even my Dad knows about it. This eyeliner is the eyeliner to end all eyeliners. It’s actually a pen with a fine tip and you get 0.55ml. I find it incredibly easy to use, every time my eyeliner comes out perfect. I also recommended this to my friend who is a beginner and she finds it easy to use too, so it’s good for everyone really. The eyeliner is jet black; I compared it to urban decays pervasion and it was noticeably blacker ~ I ended up buying just the tattoo liner rather than an urban decay mascara and eyeliner set because it was that much darker. For me this is a must buy, I can’t live without one in my collection. The only problem is that after a while it dries up and the tip isn’t as sharp, but of course that is to be expected and in its prime time it’s phenomenal.

Lipstick Queen ~ liquid lipstick in Au Revoir from the Famous Last Words collection, €23, 6ml

This was a classic Kirsty moment – I needed one more item to meet the price for 20% off and spent an hour trying on tonnes of liquid lipsticks, only to buy the wrong shade from the lipstick queen collection (this is my first ever lipstick queen product) 😂 I wanted it in Sayonara (slightly darker red) but ended up with Au Revoir which is a red/coral (and it’s BRIGHT). A few things to note at this point ~ I) I dislike liquid lipsticks in general, like really dislike. I know this is an unpopular opinion but they are so drying, uncomfortable, hard to apply and go on awfully when you’re trying to reapply. II) I also don’t do coral or bright lipstick really. I love a dark lip over any other. So imagine my horror when I realised that I’d just bought a coral liquid lipstick. Well, I couldn’t have been more wrong, okay, sort of. The colour is still a slight problem for me (maybe a holiday shade), although I’ve been told it really suits me by others, but I’m still not that comfy with the bright shade! However, the formula of this liquid lipstick is amazinggggg, in fact maybe my favourite lipstick formula EVER. Described on the website as ‘long lasting, with none of the drying. Rich pigment, lightweight feel and hours of wear’, and well I couldn’t agree more. The feel is so light that I hardly notice it. In addition, the pigment is really good and it lasts longer than any other lipstick I’ve ever used (through three meals the other day). It’s safe to say I’d recommend this and I’ll be buying more for lipstick queen! I’m even considering going back and buying the colour I actually wanted, especially because I love the formula etc but the colour puts me off (although I have worn it the last three days ahahaha).

So yes ~ three amazing products and 20% off, a very happy day for me! I’m really glad I decided to take advantage of the offer. My first impression of these products is that all three are excellent, is recommend all of them.

I hope you all have a wonderful rest of the week and let me know if you’ve ever tried any of these products and what you think of them if you have, or if you think you might try them!

Love, Kirsty on

The world ~ a poem 🌎🌍

Hullo lovelies!!!

I hope you’re all well and have had a lovely week! This is an old poem I wrote, hope you enjoy! ✨

The world ~

Stars leave me breathless

The moon makes me dance

Rivers are wild and exciting

While mountains are awe inspiring

The world inspires me everyday

While the law of attraction goes to work

Allowing me to believe in me

Knowing the future is bright

Until I turn to dust

And the world continues on

Have the best week all of you!!!

Love, Kirsty ox

Which eyeshadow palettes and shades are best for your eye colour? 👁💜

Hello lovelies!!!

I hope you’re all well and are having a wonderful week! This post had been a long time in the making! For agesssss I’ve been wanting to right about what colour eyeshadows suit each eye colour, while giving examples of palettes that will be good for every budget and each eye colour! So let’s get started!

Blue eyes ~ the recommended shades to really make those beautiful blue eyes pop are as follows, oranges, peaches, browns. I find that an orange and brown smokey eye combined with blue eyes is breathtaking! Palettes that I would recommend for blue eyes are: 1) Morphe 15D, 2) Mac Warm Neutrals, 3) Too Faced Sweet Peach, 4) Revolution Ultra, 5) Coloured Raine Queen of Hearts.

Hazel eyes ~ well aren’t you lucky having Hazel eyes, they’re so pretty! A truly versatile eye colour to make them pop you can choose from gold, cream, dark green, brown, purple! I think gold looks stunning with Hazel eyes to bring out the yellow tints and green hue! Palettes i would recommend: 1) Marc Jacobs Edgitorial, 2) Urban Decay Naked original, 3) Revolution fortune favours the brave, 4) Morphe 35R, 5) too faced chocolate bar.

Brown Eyes ~ the sultry and stunning brown eyes!!!! Brown eyes go with lots of colours but in order to bring them out to their full effect, try shades like purple, green, gold, navy! I personally think purple is so beautiful with brown eyes! The kind of palette I think you should get are: 1) Morphe 35P (of course), 2) Natasha Denona palette 28 (this is reallllly pricey though so definitely not for a budget), 3) Dior 208, 4) Hourglass colourfield, 5) Stila Eyes are the window.

Grey Eyes ~ my sister has grey eyes and I’m honestly so jealous, they’re sooooo beautiful and rare! To make grey eyes stand out colours that really work are, lavender, plum, orange, red. Palettes for grey eyes include: 1) Morphe 35P (okay lavender eyeshadow is difficult to find), 2) ABH modern Renaissance, 3) violet voss hashtag, 4) too faced everything nice, 5) Laura mercier artist palette.

Green ~ ahhhhh and this is where I really know my stuff because I too have green eyes! I’ve found that reds, pinks and purples are definitely the best for green eyes ~ if I’m late and I don’t really have time to do proper eyeshadow but what my eyes to stand out just using one shade that’s red or pink works wonders. If you’re brace enough red and pink eyeshadow will change your life if you have green eyes, the redder my eyeshadow the more compliments I get on my eye colour! Palettes for green eyes are: 1) Urban Decay Naked 3 (my go to I have NO time palette), 2) Morphe x Jaclyn hill, 3) ABH modern Renaissance, 4) Jeffree star Androgyny, 5) urban decay Naked Heat, 6) tarte in bloom.

 

Examples of red making my green eyes POP.

A general tip for anyone with light eyes is that smokey eyes and dark shadows really really make your eyes pop, so I would recommend trying a smokey eye out (maybe including some of the above colours)! I hope this was helpful and let me know if you want more palette suggestions or what palettes you like for your eye shades!

Love, Kirsty ox

China ~ poem 💛

Hullo lovelies!

I hope you’re all well! I’m currently sat in the airport waiting to fly to France, so I thought I’d read some of my poetry that I have on my phone, and this one stood out! So I thought I’d share it 💛

I constantly wonder

Why one persons opinion

Can matter so much to me.

It’s like I’m a piece of china

And without careful handling

I’ll shatter.

Then, you’ll brush me under the carpet

Forgetting I ever existed

While I remain in pieces

Never good enough for you

Until someone moves the carpet

And puts me back together

They’ll look after me

And I won’t shatter.

But I’ll never forget you

And the way you held me.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Love, Kirsty ox

Jamsu makeup trick review

Hullo lovelies!

I hope you’re all well and have had an amazing week! If you keep up with my blog then I had a good one despite being on my own ahaha!

But enough of that, this is an important post! I was scrolling through Facebook when an ad came up. Now I would normally ignore them but this one caught my attention straight away. It was a video about the Korean beauty trick called Jamsu. For those of you who aren’t aware, this is the trend of covering your face with powder, after you’ve done your skin makeup, and then dunking it in water!!!! I always thought this was a crazy idea, after all how could water help keep your makeup on. However, this video I watched, the girl did it and claimed it worked and that’s when I knew I had to put it to the test.

So, not wanting to ruin my makeup and not have time to redo it, I decided to try at the end of the day. Although the idea is that you only do this with your skin makeup, not after you have a full face on. So, the first thing I did was take my Cody Air Spun powder and cover my entire face in powder (as this was at the end of the day I also applied it to my eyelids and lips to see what happens to your eyes as well. This left me looking….. interesting as well as my clothes covered in powder.

Then I filled my sink with cold water, contemplating if I was actually going to attempt this. After this brief contemplation I dunked my head in the cold water ~ I have dry skin so I kept my head in for 25 seconds, if you have combo skin, normal skin or oily skin the advice is 30 seconds. After being submerged in icy water, I withdrew my head, grabbed a towel and gently patted my face, before turning to the mirror. That was when I realised, with amazement, that my skin looked FLAWLESS and matte. Now I don’t Day this lightly, i love my foundation to be matte and so I have very high standards for mattification, but it actually worked and made my skin sooooo smooth! My advice, however, is definitely don’t do it with eyemakeup on as, although it didn’t run thanks to the powder I put on, it took away all the shimmer on my eyelids and the highlighter on face. Therefore, I would definitely recommend doing this, but just with foundation applied I think for the best results! But in all honestly I was astounded that this really works, you’ll have to try it for yourselves to see!

So that’s it for today!!! I hope you have a wonderful week and let me know if you try this (I apologise for the awful photos of myself but I wanted you to see how matte it is)!

Love, Kirsty ox

Stronger than I was

Hullo lovelies!

‘I don’t want the world to see me, cause I don’t think that they’d understand’ ~ Iris, Goo Goo Dolls.

So I had my friend over from England this weekend and it was really nice apart from one moment ~ a guy told me that I was fat and ugly. And it was like being punched in the face, repeatedly. You see I’ve always had weight issues that ruined my self esteem and this low self esteem has massively contributed to my life, the way I perceive things and contributed positively to my determination to support those around me. So recently I’ve been eating salad and running every day to try and loose weight and I’ve had much better self esteem. Also, I really wanted to pick up some of the modelling opportunities I’ve had, especially after loosing some weight. Plus being in Spain has majority helped me to realise that I will never be good enough for some people back in England, but at the end of the day that is their loss. Therefore, to be told that I’m fat and ugly didn’t really sit very well with me, in fact it brought back a lot of emotions I’ve been slowly getting over for the last three years. Not only that but I find it really difficult to talk about as it’s so embarrassing for me, to think that THAT is how people perceive me and have my worst fears confirmed. This meant I couldn’t talk to my friends about it because they’re all stunning, recognised by society, and so they would never have experienced something like this and so to talk about it to them would be mortifying.

My first reaction was very me, I thought to myself I’m just going to hold my head up high and ignore it. Then I started to assess the implications, like clearly that’s how people perceive me and no wonder people in the past haven’t wanted to be friends with me if that’s what I am. Which makes the spiral happen into negativity and makes it really difficult to even leave the house because that’s clearly how people view me. It also makes me realise that some of the hopes I’ve had for the future are clearly stupid, I need to lower my expectations 😂

Sadly, this isn’t the first time this has happened to me but it is the first time I’ve actually talked about it. And it breaks my heart that one comment can take me from a positive place to a negative place but it is a reminder that everything we say affects people. Now I’m in for a difficult week as I’m on my own with no uni and my friends here in Madrid have gone home for Easter, which means I’m going to need everything ounce of my positivity to pull me through. Also, going to see my friends in Toulouse has had some of the shine taken out of it because I’m already so aware of the attractiveness differences between us, but this adds to it. However, after the negative dip I’m sure I will only come out stronger and more determined to accept who I am.

So this is a reminder to always think about what you say before you say it, and if you judge someone for their appearance then you should take MJs advice and look in the mirror. As for anyone that has experienced similar nasty comments from anyone, hold your head up my love because you are more than just one comment, you’re more than how you look in the mirror and you’re more than the sad people who only value appearance. Instead of being upset by them, feel sorry for them that they are so insecure about themselves that they have to put other people down to feel good about themselves and their own looks. And if someone doesn’t want you because you aren’t attractive enough, fuck them because they clearly aren’t good enough for you.

I’m ready to battle the negativity and get back to my positivity. I think this is a good time to share,

Love

I always considered if it exists

Then I met you

And I knew it did

But you left.

Gone.

And my idea of love with you.

Until I realised,

It was possibly to love

Not only another person,

But myself.

Because we are all worthy of love

Especially from ourselves.

And that’s when I knew,

Love can exist

Even when it’s not from you.

Also Paramore, Hate to see your heart break is a really appropriate song for this post ❤️

Love always, Kirsty ox

I make mistakes

Hullo loves!!!!

Ahhhh I’ve been thinking (amazing I know), and you know when something just hits you and you realise that you’ve been too self obsessed of late. Sometimes I majorly let my pride get in the way, and when it comes to people who need your support never let pride get in the way. If they don’t reply to you at least you’ve tried your best and they know that you’re there if they need you! With the people I care about the most I often let my pride get in the way, it’s not the first time I’ve made this mistake and I should have learnt when I was younger. So this poem is an apology – to the people I should have been there for more in my life (particularly my mum in the past and friends in the present), and a promise not to let my pride get in the way and be less self obsessed. It’s better to have your pride hurt than for another person to be hurting alone ❤️

~Not my first mistake

I have to apologise.

Sometimes I speak before I think

And you mean the world to me

So it’s even worse.

I didn’t stop to consider

That your head is a mess

And you’re working through stuff

While trying to play it cool.

And I just want you to know

That I’m always here

If you want to talk

Or for a hug

Or just some teasing

And that will never change.

It could be the stupidest thing

Or we could figure the world out

Or just talk about you

But I’m here for all that

And I’m sorry I failed you.

Normally it’s so easy to talk to people

But it’s never been with you.

Even so, I just want you to know

That you’re beautiful in every way,

And I made mistakes

I was too focused on me,

Not on you, the one who needs me.

I never learnt how to ask if you’re okay

So I apologise

And I’m here for you

No matter when

I’ll be there to hold you tight.

Love, Kirsty ox